Wedding Cards

18th January 2012


Om Gan Ganapataye Namah.

We cordially invite you to the wedding reception of our daughter..........

As I was reading this card I remembered how some years ago a friend had spoken animatedly about a wedding she’d been invited to and showed me a very expensive wedding card. It was made in silver. It was in fact a large silver sheet encased in a red and gold glass case. The inscriptions on it boasted of numerous pre-wedding ceremonies and an uber expensive venue for the wedding. Years later, we now seem to have further graduated to wedding cards with semi precious stones and Swarovski crystals. Today, the wedding card market is huge and people are more than willing to spend a bomb on the piece of paper called invitation. I just read somewhere that the 1 lakh rupee card has already hit the market.The basic purpose of the cards is inviting and informing. But over the years they've evolved. Maybe it all began with humble post-card size invites and now we have A4 size booklet-format cards. Our belief in ‘bada hai to behtar hai’ is only getting behtar.

Some cards remind me of Binaca geet mala where Amin Sayani read out names of people who had requested a song. The card has a long list of names of 'everybodies'. Chunnu, baby, munna, babu, chinu, Somu kaka, Radha kaku, Kalpesh Mama, Kaveri Mami, Rekha Atya, Soni Tai and Samar Jiju with chitu.......the list goes on. I’ve also heard that some people get offended if they fail to find their name on this ‘who’s who’ list. Such is our love to see our name in print. Then there are other cards that flaunt the poetic skill of a family member( usually the bride or groom's mother). An elaborate piece of poetry where a lot of effort has been put into getting the rhyme scheme correct, finds center place. The unwritten rule says- Never forget words of praise for this work o art. To add, there is this RSVP thing which we don't know and don't believe in. Yet as a rule we print it.

Anyway, whether minimalistic or lavish, what struck me common among all cards was the image of a god mostly Ganesha or a holy shloka or the name of the family deity from whom blessings are sought. Some even go to the extent of sticking haldi-kum-kum and rice grains on the card. However once the wedding is over, invitees like me are faced with the challenge of doing away with the wedding card. Some of us with a creative side try and re-decorate and recycle the envelope. But the invite itself is useless unless you want to pursue a ‘hatke’ hobby of collecting them. Most cards are torn and shown the trash can. It’s sad to see this expensive paper waste. It’s sadder to see our gods and goddesses lying face down in vegetable peel, pencil shavings, crushed beer cans, diapers and what not.

It’s high time we change our mindset. An invitation over the phone or an e- invite should be welcome. But for those who still insist on printed paper, I urge you to spare Ganesha and rather print the photos of the bride and the groom. At least we’ll know whose wedding we are expected to attend.

BULL FIGHTS and more

A friend mentioned bull-fights in Spain and it took me down the memory lane when I worked with the Government of India as an Animal Welfare Trainer. Having come across numerous cruelties towards animals, I had become slightly thick skinned ( read more practical than emotional) in my approach. I mean just when you think you’ve seen it all, you come across yet another act of cruelty that leaves you stunned. Who says Man has evolved? He remains a beast. At times, worse….

Once one of my trainees had asked me- what can we do to stop the brutal Bull- Fights in Spain. Most often we are aware and interested in the bigger issues rather than the ones that immediately affect us. This was a classic case. Instead of barking about stray dogs, or lamenting on the condition of animals in the Byculla Zoo, this trainee was interested in Whaling and Bull Fights. Well, nothing wrong with that. As long as you want to contribute and make a difference, it doesn’t matter what cause you choose. So, I thought for a while wondering what could we do to stop something so popular. And then I remembered a signature campaign that was done across the world in this connection. Banning Bull Fights would be possible only if the Spanish government could be persuaded to do so. And one of the ways of doing this was creating public opinion with the tourists refusing to visit this otherwise beautiful country unless they put an end to this gruesome sport.

I was in Spain not long ago, and was pleasantly surprised that the district that we were in (the region of Catalonia) had banned this bloody sport. Finally there was a beginning. However it takes a lot of effort to make these kind of changes happen. Animals among other things are a source of entertainment. Whether it’s the Rooster fights in India where equipped with sharp blades on their legs one Rooster kills the other, or in circuses where the king of the jungle meekly sits on a stool, or the mighty elephant plays football or a lovely exotic parrot dances to some Bollywood song, even a lion enjoying his afternoon siesta in a cage is expected to wake up and do monkey tricks for the visitors. I’d rather see these creatures in the wild. I’d prefer the posh ladies with their lovely trimmed hats and the immaculately dressed men run at the Derby than the horses themselves. I'd encourage a parent to buy an X-box than a pet which may become a victim of gross negligence. I think it’s high time we stop feeling amused and entertained at the expense of animals, who are forced to be a means of our entertainment.

When you are on the brink of boredom, you want to do something interesting to keep yourself occupied. It may be something that you’ve wanted to do for a long time. Maybe pursue a hobby or try out something entirely new, creative and engaging. With the evolution of mankind, the things that he does to keep him entertained have evolved too. I need not highlight here the various things that we do or could do to keep ourselves creatively or mechanically occupied. Our options today are unlimited, ranging from constructive and responsible ones to more pervert and sadistic ones.

What we choose to do is entirely up to us.

10 Jan 2012

Udhagmandalam.

I had been to this lovely place-hill station as we all like to call all cooler places situated on hills-from Matheran to Shimla, and now even Karjat, as a child. And now after almost 25 years I visited it again.

Ooty- The queen of Nilgiris as they call her is undoubtedly blessed with natural beauty just like many many other places in the rest of India. The tea plantations reminded me of my vacations in Munnar and Coorg- Another two lovely places. The drive to these tea plantations took me down the memory lane to Beatenberg, Interlaken which I had not so long ago.- winding roads, a light drizzle, some mist, and nature in abundance. I remember us driving down every day from Beatenberg in the hills to the Interlaken town. And now it felt like I was having my own ‘Switzerland moment’ right here in India. However my excitement almost ended here. Besides some of the breathtaking views, the lovely toy train that goes from Ooty to Conoor I was totally disappointed with the rest. The roads were bad, the so called places of touristic attraction were anything but that. All of them were dusty and dirty, any structures anywhere were in a dilapidated condition, old and rusty. The honeymooners and all others were littering about shamelessly oblivious to the fact that that the very reason that has brought them this lovely place would be destroyed by their carelessness.

What did impress me was the ban on plastic bags which was strictly followed by all shopkeepers, even the vegetable vendors. Unlike in Mumbai where for every 2 rupees worth of curry leaves, the educated –liberated woman too continues to ask for a plastic bag!- as if it is her birth right. Or the ego of the man with a fat wallet is terribly bruised when he is told that he’ll have to shell out 5 rupees for a bag. He immediately stops fidgeting with his phone, scratches his chest in an attempt to show the gold that he’s wearing, slams his fist on the cash counter, raises his voice, first abuses and then orders the cashier to give him the plastic bag and charge him whatever! Such is our love for the carry bags!

Anyway, a little away from Ooty is Pykara. And the lake here is clean and beautiful I much enjoyed the boatride here. Another unforgettable experience was spotting a tiger in the Madhumalai Tiger Reserve. Besides the Tiger, we also spotted a few other animals and birds including the wild Indian dog, Dhole and the wild fowl. Here again what was frustrating was the amount of noise the mini bus that we were in – the official carrier of tourists visiting the park, made. It could give anyone a headache. To add there were mobile phones ringing. We actually had to order people to switch off their phones and also shut up! It was quite surprising that amidst all of this we did actually spot the Royal Bengal. Poor soul he must’ve grown used to our lack of ‘Safari- etiquettes’.

Anyway I felt quite ashamed at the plight of the Queen of Nilgiris. I wish our people understood that the cleanliness about ‘phoren’ that they so admire would no longer be a dream for India if……